WebMD Feature
Jen Singer isn't particularly fond of babies. "That's because both of my sons' first years were the most stressful for me," says the author of You're a Good Mom (and Your Kids Aren't So Bad Either). Singer is also creator of MommaSaid.net. "They were colicky. One had reflux. And neither slept through the night all year."
Tammy Gold is a New York-based psychotherapist. She's also a certified parenting coach, and mother. Gold understands Singer's sentiments. She launched Gold Parent coaching in November 2007 to help distraught parents like Singer cope. "There are nannies, doulas, and lactation specialists, but no service helps parents with this gigantic change," Gold tells WebMD. "Everybody's learning, everybody's struggling."
Does Parent Stress Affect Baby?Cynthia Schames' twin son and daughter are only a few weeks old. But she's already noticed something interesting about her babies. "If I'm particularly stressed, they pick up on it," says the Chappaqua, N.Y. mom. "When I feed them, if I'm agitated or impatient, I notice that they're fussier. They spit up more, have a harder time burping, and take noticeably less formula. They also seem to wake up earlier for the next feeding and are grumpier then too." Babies may be too small to understand our words...
Read the Does Parent Stress Affect Baby? article > >"It's not just the actual time and effort involved in caring for this tiny creature that makes it so tough to find time for yourself," says Pamela Freundl Kirst, PhD. Kirst is a psychologist and mother in Santa Monica, Calif. "There's also an instinctually based psychological drive called primary maternal occupation that focuses your life on the relationship with your infant. Appreciating this can help you find ways to nurture and care for yourself directly."
To help new moms and dads cope with the stress of a new baby, WebMD talked to parents and experts and asked them for their top tips on surviving the stress of baby's first year. Read on to discover 25 ways to minimize stress and maximize quality time with your infant.
The first 12 tips for handling the stress that comes with a new baby will help you make the transition as you move into and on through that first year of parenthood.
No. 1: Establish a Parental Plan
Gold recommends parents discuss how they will address a wide range of issues. For example, how are you going to handle visiting in-laws? Who's going to get up in the middle of the night? And how does each of you feel about letting a baby cry?
"Once you get on the same page, physically, emotionally, and philosophically," Gold says, "things will be smoother." But, she cautions, "You must do it before chronic sleep deprivation and physical and emotional exhaustion set in."
No. 2: Postpone Energy-Draining Projects
"I would warn that extreme demands like marathon training should be put on hold by both parents until after the baby's first year," says one mom who requested anonymity.
"The combination of new baby and his training schedule did not mix well. I did a lot of single parenting, felt lost as a new mom, and had no time for taking care of my own exercise needs post-pregnancy. It takes time to adjust. And if that adjustment is not a team effort, it can cause tension that will impact the whole family for years to come."
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